…and since they couldn’t agree on the hashtags, the masterpiece never left the artist’s studio.
Things weren’t always the way the are now. In the olden days, weapons for lady-fights were limited to domestic items like kettles and broom handles.
With the rival gangs showing more animosity then ever, I think we can say that the Peace and Reconciliation Slumber Party was a failure.
Percival never really understood prepositions, thus the whole point of alms for the poor was lost on him.
Most people don’t know that the Jerry Springer Show is stolen directly from Victorian street theater.
It’s a real pity that the two main Societies for Skirted Men never got along. Combined, they would have been a powerful fashion force.
They worked well into the night and took many a wrong turn, but eventually the Romans perfected high five.
I’m quite impressed with Instagram’s retro effect filters.
The battalion’s formation was ruined when they had to stop and figure out who had enough signal to get the GPS to work.
…and whatever you do, never ask Walleyed Jasper what is under his cloak.
Of course the worst thing about medical marijuana in those times was the leeches.
Willem Bang never got over his resentment over Lord Fringe’s success in the UK.
OMG! So obviously photoshopped!
Amos hoped that his gluten allergy wouldn’t prevent him from inheriting the family wheat farm.
There is really no advantage to being the favorite hunting dog of the worst shot in the village.
Clarence was surprised that reaching his life-long goal of growing a two-foot beard ultimately left him feeling empty.
Rosalie lived in fear that her book burning club would find her secret stash of Tiger Beat magazines.
Graham’s refusal to jump on the photography bandwagon made him the slowest paparazzo in the pack.
Herbert could never seem to remember the first rule of pick-pocketing: You don’t ask first.
Albertus impressed his date by using his new navigation system to find the closest Ruby Tuesday’s.
"So you’re saying you guys have been here all along, and all this is kind of like your land? Huh."
Bertram’s plan to camouflage his extraordinarily long neck seems to have backfired.
There was something about the way his troops referred to him as “Captain Fabulous” that made Wilmur think it was not a compliment.
Emily couldn’t wait to tweet about her father’s lame attempt at “Gold Digger”.
While the flight attendants were busy flirting with the co-pilot, countless passengers were using their electronic devices during taxi, takeoff and landing.
Edgar’s confidence in his edible, environmentally-friendly mushroom hat meant that he was willing to wait out his detractors.
Cedric’s refusal to remove his hat during the opera had earned him the title, “The Scourge of Vienna”
Turns out a “realistic” doll that really pees is about as fun as it sounds.
If you are going ask Silas the Augerer how his work is going, be prepared to hear some pretty salty puns on the word “screw”
Hester was not convinced that being chosen Lady-In-Waiting for M’Lady’s Water to Break was an honor. Quite the reverse.
No one had the heart to tell Werner that we really needed the painting to be thumbnail sized.
Try as he might, Cecil could not think of a non oral-sex-related rhyme for ”Horatio”
Agnes Witherspoon, the home’s oldest orphan, leads the Occupy Orphanage movement on behalf of better gruel.
Lieutenant Openshaw wasn’t really sure why Shoreline Snake Watch was so important to the battle, but he was flattered that the captain thought he was the best sailor for the job.
Always on the cutting edge of fashion, Elnora was the first in her class to wear the daring, new virtual stiletto.
Cardinal Dullbog could never figure out why people kept mispronouncing his name.
Nurse Waterhouse always tried to mitigate the unpleasantness of the proctology exam by wearing a nice hat.
Lemuel was prepared to do anything to find love, even if it meant sitting in his window day and night inviting random women to see his etchings.
Dorian began to think that the invitation list for his, “World’s Largest Keg” party might have been a bit too exclusive.
"Why is it always the plus-sized model who has to pose with the goose?" Lavinia wondered.
Since it often takes a few minutes to locate his trouser pocket, Gilbert prefers that you text rather than call him.
Clara tried to enjoy her birthday present, but when you get right down to it, an elephant is not a pony.
Vera’s friends suggested that it might be her match.com profile picture that was attracting all those “submissive types”.
In his darker moments, Felix wonders what he will do when his time as a playing card model has run its course.
Sadly, Lord Pom-Pom would never know of his lasting legacy to the craft industry.
As Lady Evelyn checked her stopwatch, she realized that yet another maid would have to be let go due to slow response times.
Despite the pedicurist’s encouragement, Hilda decided she would not go with the “Ho’s Toes” pedicure this time.
Although he was painfully insecure, Lord Eddington took great pride in his award-winning facial hair.
"Uh-oh," thought Benedict. Funnily enough, it was his idea to let the zombie join the game of Spin the Bottle.
If you are looking for Mr Sparrow at lunchtime, you’ll probably find him in the janitor’s closet, rocking out to an Iron Maiden classic.